1. Fish cake/Chicken/Beef
5. Rice wraps or Tortillas
This is literal and metaphorical state of my life right now. I dont know what the hell I'm doing. No idea where my future is headed..got the WORST grades in my university life :(( My life is hot mess with no direction right now. Anyway, on to the literal part, sometimes I cook for inner peace^^ Usually I would make burritos cuz its the easiest thing to make :D But I couldnt find tortillas in the supermarket so ended up buying beitnamese rice wraps (which look like plastic kkk). Just felt like sharing it with someone~
1. Fish cake/Chicken/Beef
5. Rice wraps or Tortillas
Onni re onni 0_0 oto shahittik bhabe likhar time nai hahah but recently ki mone kore jeno ami kakaotalk er arekta app Kakao comic er ad e click kore giyechhilam. And ki mone kore jeno ekta webtoon e click korlam. Tarpor r thamae k :| jani na webtoon-anime same jinish ki na. But I'm so hooked! Shob korean e so ami kothin fantasy mantasy porte jai na. Just normal shtoory porlei my insides start dancing in conga hahah ken jani jegula tv te dekhle rag uthar kotha ba cliche lagar kotha comic er moto porle oto boring lage na kekek~but worst part is waiting for new episodes/chapter TT.TT 2 min por por i khali app check kori jodi jani new chapter ashe nai. Anyway hahah, tui to onek porish so u know how it feels :p kalke ekta khubi shundor maiyar pic dekhe ekta webtoon pora start korlam..maiya etoi shundor j ami lesbo hoye gelam reeeee~so tor shathe koekta pic share korchhi ^__^
Tonight is the night ^_^ I had been looking forwarding to it for quite some time now. Partly because it gives me an excuse to skip tutoring, and partly bcoz I’m hoping……to see someone K LOL I cannot believe I’m right where I so badly didn’t want to be. Last time I had a crush it was dull, and wrong! I was beginning to think I’ve lost the ability to have crushes :/ which was good and also bad. The last time I was asked out by a friend, it freaked me out soo much that I became more immune to crushes..but weirdly I realized one thing about myself-that MAYBE I’d be okay with something formal this time. Yeah, I have no idea what this means either :v anyway when I first started working, my 차장님 was after me to get a boyfriend. He would introduce me to people and hint about being single every time :| which is fun but embarrassing at times. There was one time he introduced me to a 대리, and since he was kinda younger than most other 대리s in the office, 차장님 kept hinting that he’s available and good looking and we should get to know each other. At that time, I had NO, ZERO interest in that guy, I mean I’m pretty awkward with introductions and add some blind date set-up to it and it’s a recipe for disaster! I was very turned off and nervous, I’m pretty sure my first impression was boring and uninterested. The guy asked me ‘Oh..are you feeling awkward?’ What kind of question is that -___- even if I was feeling awkward, did I have to spell it out for him? At moments like this, I tend to behave strangely, and I answered yes, which may have put him off too. Over the next few days we ran into each other in the corridor and greeted politely. There was another time 차장님 asked him ‘Doesn’t Taiefa look pretty these days?’ which was a clever way of making him say the same thing. I did blush K but I was perfectly aware that the comment was not originally his, and it was just a politeness for him. Then our office was rearranged on new year’s eve. We moved to the left side of the floor, and I stopped seeing him. But the day I actually found him cute was when he was passing by with his friend and said ‘안녕 Taiefa! 안녕!’ I was startled (as usual) and only managed a formal greeting awkwardly. I liked how his voice sounded cute while he repeated 안녕 :3 heeheehee I saw him in a different light that day. After a few days he showed up at our side to say hi to Lee대리. While he was leaving Park과장 said ‘Isnt he handsome?’ to me. I went all wide-eyed…omg I do find him cute and there’s NO way I’m gonna admit that infront of everyone! So I said ‘Why do Korean guys always ask that!’ and instantly I heard roars of laughter around us. My defense against awkwardness had backfired and made everything even more awkward. The guy ( I need a good nickname for him) seemed pretty embarrassed too and said “next time someone asks this, just say yes!” (he was laughing too) I felt kinda guity….maybe I should’ve said yes, maybe that’s the culture..or maybe I offended him. I dunno, I didn’t see him at our side since then. As days passed by, I grew curious and restless. :/ I was hoping to say something nice to him to make up for my blunder. But he was nowhere to be seen… L after many many days, we met in restaurant during lunch time, but only greeted each other silently. I decided to give up on whatever this mini-crush is, until tonight~~~~~~
I had a secret buried hidden subconscious wish at the back of my mind that he would turn up at the wine club party. The party was supposed to start at 7pm, a bit late in my opinion. After I finished my work at 5, I wandered around, already out of energy. Around 6 I went to buy the wine with Jo차장 and Kim차장. I was starting to get worried. Around 6:30 I noticed a lot of people leaving for dinner, and some going home. What if nobody shows up at the club gathering? L I didn’t want this plan to go flop, feeling sorry for Jo-Kim차장. At 7, only a few people had shown up, I pushed away any hope to see that guy and helped prepare the snacks. We had nearly lost all hopes and started drinking wine on our own. The door opened and a few more people came in, among them I saw a scrawny figure wearing glasses, he came!
‘Taiefa, why are u drinking wine before everyone else?’, he asked as soon as he saw me, with a weary voice *squeeeeeal*
‘I..um…well Lee대리 poured me some~’
‘Do you like wine?’
‘Only if it tastes sweet~’
‘Sweet? Like baby-taste…’
I couldn’t help it, I had a ridiculous grin suppressed in me. There was something different about him, he looked worn out, wearing glasses, his voice more casual than before, but still cute. I think I like him like this, although I’m not sure how I felt about the casual tone…hmmm. As we sat down he asked “Do you like barbequing meat?’ I wasn’t sure if he meant barbequed meat or barbequing the meat :/ ‘Umm…if someone barbeques it for me..sure!’ I answered. ‘So you’re indirectly telling me to do it for you?’ ‘Yes please~’ I said more confidently, but inside I was confused as hell!! Why is he talking so much to me…? The most conversation we had was “Hello” and “Goodbye”, I felt some enthusiasm/effort on his part for making conversation. Not that I’m complaining..lol..but I’d like no clear out any misconceptions or crush-blindness. The wine lesson/lecture started and I dozed off in my world of imagination :33 From the corner of my eye, I saw him feeding Lee대리 a few times. *cuuuuutttteeeee* After an hour or so, when I felt like the day couldn’t possible get any longer, the lecture was over. Hurrrrraaay :D time for some yummies and *cough*some time with the guy*cough*cough* From office to the restaurant I noticed he kept trying to walk with me, a few times I slowed down intentionally, but everytime he was beside me he’d talk. He made a classic Korean ‘let’s be friends with foreigners’-move, which was ‘please teach me english’ He asked me to help him with his English test next month..maybe it was just for the sake of conversation :/// I do have a bad habit of analyzing stuff too much, so this time I’m taking everything superrr slow and cool. At the restaurant, I sat beside Jo차장, even though the seat beside the guy was empty. I was quiet most of the time; my body stopped responding to my desire to be more playful. All I could think of was taking the subway back home before 11. The guy asked me few things here and there, and I observed him quietly. So far…I liked what I saw. His voice is on the lower side, but not boring, skinny, but not scrawny ( I know I called him scrawny bfore but he’s really not) he was playful but not wild, gentle but still casual (still confused about the casual part) Okay, maybe I didn’t like how he switched to informals suddenly, I mean even Lee대리 uses formals with me K! But on the other hand, it could be his effort to get closer (as friends)….??? He’s clearly older than me thus he has the right to use formals…and maybe this is how Koreans do it :@ :@ ‘Do you remember when you said why Korean guys always ask that infront of Park 대용형?’ ‘Yeah…so?’ ‘As soon as you said that, all the guys around us started laughing …at me! That’s why I can’t go to that side anymore!’ LOL..seriously that’s the reason?? I apologized, a bit surprised. ‘I should go there to see you’, he added and I felt my rsupressed grin burst out on my face KEKE. After dinner, we stepped outside to go our separate ways. Kim대리 suddenly said ‘Oh she’s really good at Korean!’ Then he imitated something I said to him earlier ( I gotta admit it was a pretty accurate imitation :v )Then the guy also chimed in with him, and he also quoted me, imitating my voice kekeke One of the lady차장s asked how I was planning to get back home. She was suggesting I go to 사당 station with her, I shook my head rather dramatically, and the guy said ‘Don’t act cute! My immediate reaction was-‘You shouldn’t look then!’ and everybody went :O while laughing ‘ouchhh…burn!’ ‘omg, you really find her cute then!?’ they teased him, and he out one hand on his chest as if his heart ached OJ kekekek the only time I’ve heard guys say that to me was when I was doing absolutely NOTHING remotely cute! If I was indeed acting cute, I would’ve been like-ok fine~I’ll stop. But since I wasn’t, means they think I’m cute and that’s their way of saying it (that’s my explanation, please provide feel free to give your input here) Danny bhaiya used to say that a lot, and he did try to itish-pitish with me! >K So, this ‘Don’t act cute’ comment really bothers me, if u can’t handle my natural cuteness then beat it! Anyhoo~I officially declare him as my crush KEKEKEK maybe I won’t see him around that much….but I sure hope we dooooooo :3 :3 *mini-swoons*
At exactly 5:30 I left for tutoring. Said my goodbyes and headed for the elevator. As the elevator arrived I saw Ma이사님 coming out of another elevator. I hadnt talked to him much this week, not that it was a big deal, but I kinda missed his goofy old man-ness. KEKEKEKmaybe I hang around old people so much that I'm starting to find them more relatable and fun than people of my own age( or atleast koreans of my own age). Ma이사님 looked quite cheerful, I grabbed my chance to greet him properly and patted myself on the back. I noticed the BB BITCH ( the intern who I've cast as my arch nemesis, for fun tongue emoticon ). BB Bitch was holding the elevator for me -__________- omg, I was hoping to take the next one all to myself. I stepped inside reluctantly. I saw that he had pressed 5th floor. PHEW!! Bitch will be out in a few seconds and imma be at peace! We reached 5th floor, the door opened, bitch better be moving. Wait, he's turning slightly, oh NO! Towards ME! 0_0 I froze, horror-stricken as he bowed in slow motion (dramatic effect added by my brain) and said '안녕히가세요'. All I could manage was a weak '네ㅔㅔ' and felt a tight slap around my face. OMG, my WORST fear was coming true!, no HAD already come true-BB Bitch was being NICE to me! EWWWWWW, nooooo!! EWEWEWEWW!! The horror, the blasphemy, the hoorendous crime, the utterly unbelievable outrage that I had just witnessed...how do I ever recover from this? Walking out of the building I contemplated the chances of this all being his grand scheme. Maybe it was HIM who cursed me with my bad health...yess..that makes sense!
The aftermath of the shock was me buying a dress and a skirt on my way home. Damn you BB Bitch! grumpy emoticon
I was spinning in my chair impatiently when Jo차장 came in. “You must be bored…lets go for some tea” I jump out of my chair even before he finished his sentence. My ass has suffered enough for the day. We ask Kim차장 to join us, with a phone in his ear his signals us to leave first. Down at the coffee shop Jo차장 asks me what I’d like to drink. I scan the menu swiftly for the specific letters- m, n, g, k, w. And I see K-w! Kiwi juice :3 my holy grail in Korea, it’s the only thing that can substitute my thirst for mango I think. We sit down after getting our drinks and see Kim차장 coming in with…another lady who’s name I don’t remember. Anyhoo….the adults start talking about their wine club, trying to decide a name for it. “Autoever Wine Club?” Jo차장 suggests. “Nah….that sounds dull” the lady whose name I don’t remember says. I blank in and out of the conversation while constantly checking my phone. And I remember Natalie is leaving today. My heart clenches a bit, and I let out a deep sigh. Why are ALL my close friends leaving this year? There Donghyun oppa ( USA-1 year) , Minseok oppa (Australia-1 year) , Yuri (El Salvador-2 years), Tiara (She was only in Korea for the semester)….maybe I’ve been cursed L(( I know Allah punishes me from time to time whenever I get too happy. Nailpolish-allergy! Shrimp-allergy! Jeggings-allergy! Whoever I get close to- moves away or I move away or goes to study abroad -_- but Natalie…! I cant imagine a Korea without her :’( Even though we haven’t been super close this past semester, we never feel awkward to peek up where we left off. She has been one of the constant friends who offer moral support no questions asked. Even with so much cultural differences, she never made me feel misunderstood. We have this silly voice of talking whenever we are excited together. Kekekek :v I remember the last we hung out, having yummy Persian pizza and chatting away all our feelings…I must be stronger K After all, this is life I had chosen for myself, where people would come and go constantly, leaving little to mourn the loss of their presence. Even me, myself has moved around way too much. I can hardly believe it, I have lived in three different places in my three years in Korea. And I’m about my move yet again in my fourth year~phew! That’s too much physical and mental strain on my feeble heart. I console myself with the hope of writing long-glittery letter to Sweden later :D I blink back to the present, the wine club discussion still going on. “Do you like wine?” Kim차장 asks. “Yeah I do” I reply quietly. “Good, then you should join! Next Thursday after work, don’t forget.” I nod happily at the thought of skipping tutoring that day. I’ve had the pleasure of tasting wine three times in my life. First time when I was kid, somebody had brought a bottle of wine as a gift. I was so curious about the taste that I begged my mom over and over to let me take a sip. Surprisingly, she let me :O It was only a tiny sip. “I’m letting u taste it so that you know how horrible it is and never ask for ti again.” She was right indeed. It tasted gross, like spoiled grapes, making me choke. The next time I had wine, it was in the Muju trip (which I went to with Mike, Roly and Tiara). We had visited the famous Muju Winery Tunnel. The wine there was...heavenly~~~~made from the best and most fresh grapes of Muju. It was like drinking extra fresh grape juice. And the last time was……a few weeks ago, just after Christmas, Jo차장 took me out for a drink and insisted I try the Christmas wine. It was different, not bitter, but not entirely sweet either. Overall, I liked it; I find wine to be the most elegant from of alcohol out there, though nothing can beat cocktails (non-alcoholic ones of course). Anyway, we headed back to the office, and after an hour of finishing up my work I left for tutoring. On my way to tutoring I messaged Daehan oppa :3 :3 It was a shock to receive his text after…2 years! :o I will rewind and elaborate a bit here. 2 years ago, when my family (Mu, pu and boggo) had come to visit me in Korea, we had been invited to the SK Telecom’s vise president’s house. He had two adorable sons~both of whom were Kyunghee students coincidentally :D they were soo cute, pushing one another to make the make the first move. They spoke to us in English after a lot of hesistation. Me and boggo kept whispering about how cute they were. After my family left Korea, I received a letter from one of the bros at my dorm. It was soooo adorable beyond words...even though I had a bf that time, I was swept off my feet by that gesture >_< hoohoo! So hearing from one of the bros after so many days was a shock and pleasure ^_^ It was somewhat odd though, him texting me out of the blue like that, seeming overly enthusiastic O.o Anyway, he said he’ll be graduating in February and also asked me to hang out with them sometime. Hehe I don’t know how serious he was but I’d be more than glad to meet them again. I reach the coffee shop where I’m supposed to tutor and sit down. Feeling unusually exhausted, I ordered a sandwich. Perhaps it was my worst moon party in a long time, I’ve never felt this exhausted before. Throughout the tutoring session I could barely keep my eyes open, nodding and adding comments weakly. I felt guilty about teaching haphazardly today, but my body was failing against me. When I finished I took the subway. Moon party was in it’s full eclipse…I decided it was better to stand all the way to avoid any accident. Ten minutes into the ride, I started to feel queasy. It was as if my body parts were shutting down one by one. A strange internal alarm went off in my head, prompting me to put my ipad back inside the bag, fearing that I would drop it anytime. I tried holding on to the pillar beside me. Too late, my vision got blurry and hearing muffled; a feeling similar to the effect or air pressure. I prayed in my head so that I don’t lose my consciousness. I saw someone leave their seat. Slowly I sat down gratefully. I don’t know for how long, but even my mind shut down for a while and I hung my head, paralyzed. When I came back to my senses, the train had stopped at a station. I was too weak to move and see which station, and instantly the train started again. I looked around and realized I had just missed my station -___- dang it! I was sweating and shivering all the way back home, weird I know K I took a long hot shower, ate chocolates and launched myself on my laptop. Still feeling lightheaded, I followed my usual routine of calling my parents, answering all the kakaotalks, saying one last goodbye to Natalie and finally sleep O:)
And now here I am the next day, done with my template and typing away all the shit in my head. Also chatting with my friend on facebook :D which I opened for a peek kekeke hopefully I will get to go home early today :/ that’s all for now~ Miso out!
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.