Tonight is the night ^_^ I had been looking forwarding to it for quite some time now. Partly because it gives me an excuse to skip tutoring, and partly bcoz I’m hoping……to see someone K LOL I cannot believe I’m right where I so badly didn’t want to be. Last time I had a crush it was dull, and wrong! I was beginning to think I’ve lost the ability to have crushes :/ which was good and also bad. The last time I was asked out by a friend, it freaked me out soo much that I became more immune to crushes..but weirdly I realized one thing about myself-that MAYBE I’d be okay with something formal this time. Yeah, I have no idea what this means either :v anyway when I first started working, my 차장님 was after me to get a boyfriend. He would introduce me to people and hint about being single every time :| which is fun but embarrassing at times. There was one time he introduced me to a 대리, and since he was kinda younger than most other 대리s in the office, 차장님 kept hinting that he’s available and good looking and we should get to know each other. At that time, I had NO, ZERO interest in that guy, I mean I’m pretty awkward with introductions and add some blind date set-up to it and it’s a recipe for disaster! I was very turned off and nervous, I’m pretty sure my first impression was boring and uninterested. The guy asked me ‘Oh..are you feeling awkward?’ What kind of question is that -___- even if I was feeling awkward, did I have to spell it out for him? At moments like this, I tend to behave strangely, and I answered yes, which may have put him off too. Over the next few days we ran into each other in the corridor and greeted politely. There was another time 차장님 asked him ‘Doesn’t Taiefa look pretty these days?’ which was a clever way of making him say the same thing. I did blush K but I was perfectly aware that the comment was not originally his, and it was just a politeness for him. Then our office was rearranged on new year’s eve. We moved to the left side of the floor, and I stopped seeing him. But the day I actually found him cute was when he was passing by with his friend and said ‘안녕 Taiefa! 안녕!’ I was startled (as usual) and only managed a formal greeting awkwardly. I liked how his voice sounded cute while he repeated 안녕 :3 heeheehee I saw him in a different light that day. After a few days he showed up at our side to say hi to Lee대리. While he was leaving Park과장 said ‘Isnt he handsome?’ to me. I went all wide-eyed…omg I do find him cute and there’s NO way I’m gonna admit that infront of everyone! So I said ‘Why do Korean guys always ask that!’ and instantly I heard roars of laughter around us. My defense against awkwardness had backfired and made everything even more awkward. The guy ( I need a good nickname for him) seemed pretty embarrassed too and said “next time someone asks this, just say yes!” (he was laughing too) I felt kinda guity….maybe I should’ve said yes, maybe that’s the culture..or maybe I offended him. I dunno, I didn’t see him at our side since then. As days passed by, I grew curious and restless. :/ I was hoping to say something nice to him to make up for my blunder. But he was nowhere to be seen… L after many many days, we met in restaurant during lunch time, but only greeted each other silently. I decided to give up on whatever this mini-crush is, until tonight~~~~~~
I had a secret buried hidden subconscious wish at the back of my mind that he would turn up at the wine club party. The party was supposed to start at 7pm, a bit late in my opinion. After I finished my work at 5, I wandered around, already out of energy. Around 6 I went to buy the wine with Jo차장 and Kim차장. I was starting to get worried. Around 6:30 I noticed a lot of people leaving for dinner, and some going home. What if nobody shows up at the club gathering? L I didn’t want this plan to go flop, feeling sorry for Jo-Kim차장. At 7, only a few people had shown up, I pushed away any hope to see that guy and helped prepare the snacks. We had nearly lost all hopes and started drinking wine on our own. The door opened and a few more people came in, among them I saw a scrawny figure wearing glasses, he came!
‘Taiefa, why are u drinking wine before everyone else?’, he asked as soon as he saw me, with a weary voice *squeeeeeal*
‘I..um…well Lee대리 poured me some~’
‘Do you like wine?’
‘Only if it tastes sweet~’
‘Sweet? Like baby-taste…’
I couldn’t help it, I had a ridiculous grin suppressed in me. There was something different about him, he looked worn out, wearing glasses, his voice more casual than before, but still cute. I think I like him like this, although I’m not sure how I felt about the casual tone…hmmm. As we sat down he asked “Do you like barbequing meat?’ I wasn’t sure if he meant barbequed meat or barbequing the meat :/ ‘Umm…if someone barbeques it for me..sure!’ I answered. ‘So you’re indirectly telling me to do it for you?’ ‘Yes please~’ I said more confidently, but inside I was confused as hell!! Why is he talking so much to me…? The most conversation we had was “Hello” and “Goodbye”, I felt some enthusiasm/effort on his part for making conversation. Not that I’m complaining..lol..but I’d like no clear out any misconceptions or crush-blindness. The wine lesson/lecture started and I dozed off in my world of imagination :33 From the corner of my eye, I saw him feeding Lee대리 a few times. *cuuuuutttteeeee* After an hour or so, when I felt like the day couldn’t possible get any longer, the lecture was over. Hurrrrraaay :D time for some yummies and *cough*some time with the guy*cough*cough* From office to the restaurant I noticed he kept trying to walk with me, a few times I slowed down intentionally, but everytime he was beside me he’d talk. He made a classic Korean ‘let’s be friends with foreigners’-move, which was ‘please teach me english’ He asked me to help him with his English test next month..maybe it was just for the sake of conversation :/// I do have a bad habit of analyzing stuff too much, so this time I’m taking everything superrr slow and cool. At the restaurant, I sat beside Jo차장, even though the seat beside the guy was empty. I was quiet most of the time; my body stopped responding to my desire to be more playful. All I could think of was taking the subway back home before 11. The guy asked me few things here and there, and I observed him quietly. So far…I liked what I saw. His voice is on the lower side, but not boring, skinny, but not scrawny ( I know I called him scrawny bfore but he’s really not) he was playful but not wild, gentle but still casual (still confused about the casual part) Okay, maybe I didn’t like how he switched to informals suddenly, I mean even Lee대리 uses formals with me K! But on the other hand, it could be his effort to get closer (as friends)….??? He’s clearly older than me thus he has the right to use formals…and maybe this is how Koreans do it :@ :@ ‘Do you remember when you said why Korean guys always ask that infront of Park 대용형?’ ‘Yeah…so?’ ‘As soon as you said that, all the guys around us started laughing …at me! That’s why I can’t go to that side anymore!’ LOL..seriously that’s the reason?? I apologized, a bit surprised. ‘I should go there to see you’, he added and I felt my rsupressed grin burst out on my face KEKE. After dinner, we stepped outside to go our separate ways. Kim대리 suddenly said ‘Oh she’s really good at Korean!’ Then he imitated something I said to him earlier ( I gotta admit it was a pretty accurate imitation :v )Then the guy also chimed in with him, and he also quoted me, imitating my voice kekeke One of the lady차장s asked how I was planning to get back home. She was suggesting I go to 사당 station with her, I shook my head rather dramatically, and the guy said ‘Don’t act cute! My immediate reaction was-‘You shouldn’t look then!’ and everybody went :O while laughing ‘ouchhh…burn!’ ‘omg, you really find her cute then!?’ they teased him, and he out one hand on his chest as if his heart ached OJ kekekek the only time I’ve heard guys say that to me was when I was doing absolutely NOTHING remotely cute! If I was indeed acting cute, I would’ve been like-ok fine~I’ll stop. But since I wasn’t, means they think I’m cute and that’s their way of saying it (that’s my explanation, please provide feel free to give your input here) Danny bhaiya used to say that a lot, and he did try to itish-pitish with me! >K So, this ‘Don’t act cute’ comment really bothers me, if u can’t handle my natural cuteness then beat it! Anyhoo~I officially declare him as my crush KEKEKEK maybe I won’t see him around that much….but I sure hope we dooooooo :3 :3 *mini-swoons*