Onni re onni…kekek janish ami ipad er ms word e likhchhi first time :D tai goborer moto khushi lagchhe. Jaihok…koto kichhu bolbo bolbo kore bola hoy na…tora online hole tokhon mone hoy ei etotuku pichki jinish amar folao kore bolar ki. Abar mone hoy maishar moto kenken korchhi naki…zaihok..first e ki niye boli…amar ajkal ektu low self esteemi too obostha…oi job interview dewar shomoy amar personal statement and resume cheyechhilo. And bisshash kor amar KISSU nai shekhane dekhanor moto. Ajporjonto kono extra curricular activities o kori nai…ba result o temon ahamori kichu na…seriously tokhon nijeke prithibir shera gobor mone hoyechhe….kibhabe life waste korchhi…ei obostha thakle graduation er por ki asholeo kono real job khuje pamoo! And me also feels stuck in my social life. Suwon is like a prison -_- ekhane foreigner der jonno temon activities /club nai….ekta matro achhe but I don’t like it. Ekhane jehetu korar o kichhu nai so all they do is drink. And I don’t wanna make friends like that :| ekhane bola jae amar shob cheye close friend “O”. That’s not by choice though, its bcoz I have no other option. And its my fault cuz ami jokhon first suwon move kori oi haramjada ashraf niye depressed thaktam…sharakkhoni room e..eka beshi ber hotam na and I didn’t make that many friends -__- god now I regret it so much. O is not a horrible person or anything…and I dunno shey intentionally eta kore kina…but she is ALWAYS overshadowing me (I cant believe how pathetic I sound right now keke). Its always about her…everything must revolve around her…people mistake her for being a european and she enjoys the attention. And or shathe thakle always mone hoy I’m like a sidekick or something. Again, its not entirely her fault. People find europeans more exotic here than a simple asian..even though O is not really european. But its exhausting to be with her..O mone kore ALL the guys loooove her and stare at her-_- well she dresses pretty provocatively so who wouldn’t! Oufff ekhon mone hochhe ami jealous bitch er moto act korchhi. Maybe I am…I dunno but I truly don’t see whats so special about her. I have far more beautiful and talented girl friends than her who don’t have to wear shorts with their asses hanging out :| Anyway I try not be judgmental most of the time but sometimes her princess disease just gets on my nerves. Sometimes she even lies to koreans that shey korea te ashar age ekdomi korean janto na and ekhane eshe magically efo improve korechhe. That’s soo not true cuz she took korean classes for 2/3 years back in her country. I find a lot of similarities between her and paiga apu….paiga apu is not a bad person but she also has the princess disease…jar karone she had good long lasting friends. And her current friends r very easy going…mane paiga apu ja bole tai mene chole type (according to mu & boggo) Similarly “O” o bhab kore j shey emoni cool j she can only be friends with guyz, she doesn’t get girls blah blah. That’s probably bcoz no girl wants to put up with her princess-ness. And her guy “friends” are not even true friends, just wants to sleep with her. Ive had some good times with O…but now I feel so stuck with her. Amra ekshathe ekta trip e giyechhilam. Okhane seoul theke amar arekta friend o chhilo. And O was sooo antisocial the whole time. And bcoz of her I couldn’t make new friends -_- ami ekjoner shathe kotha barta shuru korar por she also joined. Now when I look back I regret ever even taking her to that trip. If I wanna hang with the friend from that trip, O will be there.Last year ami first chinese friend der shathe eki class e chhilam And became friends. But one of them is from O’s major, so this year they became friends. So now even when I hang out with chinese friends O is there….koydin age I met up with a friend “R” bcoz it was her bday and I wanted to give her bday gift over lunch. O janto j ive been trying to meet with R. Class er por giye dekhi O o okhane. And like an uninvited guest she joined us in the restaurant. Then hotat kore “urrghh…I feel suffocated here” dhong kore chole gelo. Like wth!? U invade our plan and then leave abruptly making a scene! Then recently festival e amra ekshathe chhilam with two other friends. Then jei chheleta amader prder nite eshechhilo he was soooooo cute! And I said it, that time she acted like she didn’t hear it. Then after half an hour or so she said “omggg that guy is soo cute!!” -_____- tokhon theke she started fangirling even though she knew I said it first. Ami jani tuiki bhabchhish, j it all sounds soo childish like something Nayma & I would do in college. But celeb and real life is so different. I just think its so inconsiderate of her to ignore that I could’ve had a crush too. Anyway I tried to let it go, I mean I don’t even know the guy. Festival er por amader friend hotat unir bairer ek restaurant e oi chhele k kaj korte dekhechhe so she told us. So O asked us if we could have dinner at that restaurant this weekend. It was frustrating cuz she was fangirling all the time..and making everything about her. Like ami jodi arek friend k kichhu boli she has to be a part of it, even though shes busy staring at that guy. I mean what does she expect? Hindi movier moto o nayoker dike takiye lojja pane amd amra background dancer er moto pichhe diye komor dulabo? Then festival e arekta ghotona hoyechhilo. She invited one of her friend to hang out with us, and amra almost 2 ghontar moto ekshathe chhilam. The whole time they were like “uhh I’m so bored and tired…maybe we should go home…I have so much homework” blah blah then we decided to go home. I even saw them walking towards their home direction. Then suddenly next day fb te dekhi they went back to festival (!) Not that I was desperate to hang out with them but if they wanted to get rid of me they were such bitches. Every now and then I wonder maybe I’m the one who’s being a bitch, but I never had this of kind of problem with any of my friends before. Then halloween e jokhon club e gelam, shekhane around 2am amader arek friend er friend, got vomitted on (!) LOL so shei friend oi friend er shathe bashae chole jete chachhilo. And I didn’t wanna go with them. Cuz oder bashae shei KHU seoul campus e, I wanted to stay in some coffee shop around the club with O, so that we can take the first bus back to suwon in the morning. But I dunno why on earth O insisted that we go with the other friends. It was ridiculous, like amra thaki suwon e and tara thake seoul e. Why are we following them, and bujhlam oi meye(the one who got vomitted on) r obostha bhalo chhilo na. But oi meye emon na j she was seriously hurt or something, whereas my toe was bleeding inside my heels, I could barely walk. But still she made me go there, made me walk more than I shouldve! I was so angry that night. Another example, when we go to karaoke, she ALWAYS ruins my song. Ami jodi emon kono gan gai that we both know, she has to ruin it! Ami ektu low voice e gai, and O high voice e, often out of tune. So when she sings with me my voice can be barely heard! Tao jodi emon hoto j she’s singing good, tao na, with her off key notes she ruins my notes too! And I get so upset bcoz I just wanted to sing one song peacefully without her interference. I never try to jump in on other people’s songs bcoz I think everyone should get their chance to shine. She knows I loove Singing Ariana Grande songs, but she purposely sings it everytime, and ruins it -__- Jekhanei jai theres always O. I feel like I cant even get new friends or grow on my own because of her. Its not totally her fault, its also my bad fate 😓 Sometimes I feel like running away to seoul asap. Although this moving to seoul has been a huge cliffhanger in my life and Im tired of it too, but I have to make a decision by the end of this year. Either I stay here where Im already settled , near uni, but with limited friends and fun options, or I move to seoul and start over again…be a stranger again…theres no guarantee that my social life will be better than it is now, and Id have to manage time traveling to suwon for some classes, but I can a get a job in seoul easily… :/ Sheidn tor shathe chat korar age I was with O, these days I always end up with her so I guess I was a bit off. Anyway…so what do u think?
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