And now here I am the next day, done with my template and typing away all the shit in my head. Also chatting with my friend on facebook :D which I opened for a peek kekeke hopefully I will get to go home early today :/ that’s all for now~ Miso out!
I was spinning in my chair impatiently when Jo차장 came in. “You must be bored…lets go for some tea” I jump out of my chair even before he finished his sentence. My ass has suffered enough for the day. We ask Kim차장 to join us, with a phone in his ear his signals us to leave first. Down at the coffee shop Jo차장 asks me what I’d like to drink. I scan the menu swiftly for the specific letters- m, n, g, k, w. And I see K-w! Kiwi juice :3 my holy grail in Korea, it’s the only thing that can substitute my thirst for mango I think. We sit down after getting our drinks and see Kim차장 coming in with…another lady who’s name I don’t remember. Anyhoo….the adults start talking about their wine club, trying to decide a name for it. “Autoever Wine Club?” Jo차장 suggests. “Nah….that sounds dull” the lady whose name I don’t remember says. I blank in and out of the conversation while constantly checking my phone. And I remember Natalie is leaving today. My heart clenches a bit, and I let out a deep sigh. Why are ALL my close friends leaving this year? There Donghyun oppa ( USA-1 year) , Minseok oppa (Australia-1 year) , Yuri (El Salvador-2 years), Tiara (She was only in Korea for the semester)….maybe I’ve been cursed L(( I know Allah punishes me from time to time whenever I get too happy. Nailpolish-allergy! Shrimp-allergy! Jeggings-allergy! Whoever I get close to- moves away or I move away or goes to study abroad -_- but Natalie…! I cant imagine a Korea without her :’( Even though we haven’t been super close this past semester, we never feel awkward to peek up where we left off. She has been one of the constant friends who offer moral support no questions asked. Even with so much cultural differences, she never made me feel misunderstood. We have this silly voice of talking whenever we are excited together. Kekekek :v I remember the last we hung out, having yummy Persian pizza and chatting away all our feelings…I must be stronger K After all, this is life I had chosen for myself, where people would come and go constantly, leaving little to mourn the loss of their presence. Even me, myself has moved around way too much. I can hardly believe it, I have lived in three different places in my three years in Korea. And I’m about my move yet again in my fourth year~phew! That’s too much physical and mental strain on my feeble heart. I console myself with the hope of writing long-glittery letter to Sweden later :D I blink back to the present, the wine club discussion still going on. “Do you like wine?” Kim차장 asks. “Yeah I do” I reply quietly. “Good, then you should join! Next Thursday after work, don’t forget.” I nod happily at the thought of skipping tutoring that day. I’ve had the pleasure of tasting wine three times in my life. First time when I was kid, somebody had brought a bottle of wine as a gift. I was so curious about the taste that I begged my mom over and over to let me take a sip. Surprisingly, she let me :O It was only a tiny sip. “I’m letting u taste it so that you know how horrible it is and never ask for ti again.” She was right indeed. It tasted gross, like spoiled grapes, making me choke. The next time I had wine, it was in the Muju trip (which I went to with Mike, Roly and Tiara). We had visited the famous Muju Winery Tunnel. The wine there was...heavenly~~~~made from the best and most fresh grapes of Muju. It was like drinking extra fresh grape juice. And the last time was……a few weeks ago, just after Christmas, Jo차장 took me out for a drink and insisted I try the Christmas wine. It was different, not bitter, but not entirely sweet either. Overall, I liked it; I find wine to be the most elegant from of alcohol out there, though nothing can beat cocktails (non-alcoholic ones of course). Anyway, we headed back to the office, and after an hour of finishing up my work I left for tutoring. On my way to tutoring I messaged Daehan oppa :3 :3 It was a shock to receive his text after…2 years! :o I will rewind and elaborate a bit here. 2 years ago, when my family (Mu, pu and boggo) had come to visit me in Korea, we had been invited to the SK Telecom’s vise president’s house. He had two adorable sons~both of whom were Kyunghee students coincidentally :D they were soo cute, pushing one another to make the make the first move. They spoke to us in English after a lot of hesistation. Me and boggo kept whispering about how cute they were. After my family left Korea, I received a letter from one of the bros at my dorm. It was soooo adorable beyond words...even though I had a bf that time, I was swept off my feet by that gesture >_< hoohoo! So hearing from one of the bros after so many days was a shock and pleasure ^_^ It was somewhat odd though, him texting me out of the blue like that, seeming overly enthusiastic O.o Anyway, he said he’ll be graduating in February and also asked me to hang out with them sometime. Hehe I don’t know how serious he was but I’d be more than glad to meet them again. I reach the coffee shop where I’m supposed to tutor and sit down. Feeling unusually exhausted, I ordered a sandwich. Perhaps it was my worst moon party in a long time, I’ve never felt this exhausted before. Throughout the tutoring session I could barely keep my eyes open, nodding and adding comments weakly. I felt guilty about teaching haphazardly today, but my body was failing against me. When I finished I took the subway. Moon party was in it’s full eclipse…I decided it was better to stand all the way to avoid any accident. Ten minutes into the ride, I started to feel queasy. It was as if my body parts were shutting down one by one. A strange internal alarm went off in my head, prompting me to put my ipad back inside the bag, fearing that I would drop it anytime. I tried holding on to the pillar beside me. Too late, my vision got blurry and hearing muffled; a feeling similar to the effect or air pressure. I prayed in my head so that I don’t lose my consciousness. I saw someone leave their seat. Slowly I sat down gratefully. I don’t know for how long, but even my mind shut down for a while and I hung my head, paralyzed. When I came back to my senses, the train had stopped at a station. I was too weak to move and see which station, and instantly the train started again. I looked around and realized I had just missed my station -___- dang it! I was sweating and shivering all the way back home, weird I know K I took a long hot shower, ate chocolates and launched myself on my laptop. Still feeling lightheaded, I followed my usual routine of calling my parents, answering all the kakaotalks, saying one last goodbye to Natalie and finally sleep O:)
And now here I am the next day, done with my template and typing away all the shit in my head. Also chatting with my friend on facebook :D which I opened for a peek kekeke hopefully I will get to go home early today :/ that’s all for now~ Miso out!
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Today morning….has been the crappiest start of work. I managed to wake up early, just time to find out the glorious arrival of my moon party. I had been anticipating it so that I can wear my new pencil skirt which I have been dying to wear ever since I bought it. Quick shower, emergency chocolate supply and off to work by the subway. I was lucky to find a seat quickly; I don’t think my moony state can handle the physical strain of standing so long. The ride went smoothly, submerged in a trashy novel ’50 Shades Darker’ in my hands. I even reached exactly at 8:30am, an impossible feat most days. However, the series of problems began as soon as I reached my desk. I shared my emergency chocolates with colleagues/차장님s ㅋㅋ another mini accomplishment. I turned the computer on hoping to dive into the DPP project files which I was supposed to work on. But damn my luck, the computer decided put on its dancing shoes and go wild. Nothing was working properly...foe about one hour and a half. I will skip the torturous details to spare whoever’s reading this mundane piece. On top of that my locker was replaced against my knowledge…causing an unnecessary fuss. Moving on, I have decided to skip lunch today, perhaps that will be wise as my stomach feels full with....strange sickness. Everyone seems exceptionally busy today, then again, haven’t they always been..? I saw one of the new interns lurking around earlier; strangely I felt a sting of antagonism towards him. :o I don’t know…maybe I feel competitive? But I'm sure I dont feel that way when I see other interns. From the moment I saw him I didn’t like his ass-kissy face, yeah..he definitely has that face, with BB cream_foundation) on! LOL talk about over presenting -_-
It is lunch time, the office room fell silent as I watched my 차장s leave and raise eyebrows at my “diet” excuse. L I am somewhat hungry though…but scared of having a moon accident around here. No, I must hold brace myself and endure this..better get back to the project file :/ (Afternoon) Okay..so things got better after lunch hour. I finished the tedious task of reading the DPP project file and started making a new template. This time I will apply minimalism to the maximum! I have seen enough disappointment throughout my last semester to be facing the same at work. So far, I think I’ve been doing better at work than my semester classes; I am praying tin my head day and night that it stays this way. Back to the good part, I was browsing aimlessly while Jo차장님 called me from behind. “바빠?” he asked softly. I shook my head, eager to get away from my desk and have some blood circulation in my butt. All the meeting rooms being occupied to my delight, we headed outside the office for some hot choco beverage. I don’t usually drink anything, but for choco I can make exception. We sat in 조차장님’s favourite coffee shop. Sleek bar at one side, an attractive wall decorated with retro antiques and nice music playing in the background, it was the perfect escape for my suffering butt. Contrary to what I had thought about the meeting, it turned out to be much simpler, to my relief. He asked me to explain the project briefly, which I did with some confidence. We discussed the details…and surprisingly I had quite a few good inputs as well. I felt happy for the moment to be making a sensible business conversation. Had I made the right decision with my major? I wondered for a split second…..I had faint interest in my dad’s work…at some point of my life, if it not were for the politics; I might’ve actually pursued it too. With my tiny administrative knowledge and seeing how I much I’m loving this professional environment I can totally imagine myself working as a consultant or manager, like the 차장님s around me. I quickly pushed the thought away before it made a greedy turn. We discussed further and eventually headed back to office. 차장님 said he will officially start the project of starting a company in BD from tomorrow, and suggested that I should help. ‘Really? What’s your first step?’ I asked enthusiastically. ‘That’s exactly my question!’ he answered and we both burst into a giggle. “I’ll send you a file regarding the project” he added and I beamed at him. (Evening) The evening went better than expected J I was spinning on my chair out of boredom….mostly facing towards Park과장님 kekke :v and soon enough he started chatting up with me. He kept asking over and over why I skipped lunch -_- urrggh cant a girl just skip her lunch in peace?? Suddenly Ma이사님, our director popped out of nowhere, making me and Park과장 freeze. “Speak only English!” he said and we nod trying to suppress our laughter. Park과장 sighs when 이사님 leaves. He grins and tells me we cant talk when director is hovering around us. We both giggle like kids who had been caught by the teacher. Just then, Ma이사님 summoned me to his desk. Kim차장 and Park과장 both chuckling,I could barely stop chuckling myself. When I made my way to 이사님’s desk, he asked why I was laughing. I told him it was bcoz Park과장 is scared of speaking English around him, 이사님 also laughs out hearing this Kekeke :v I find it odd when I make older people laugh. Is it because I’m silly to them? Or do they actually get my humour when other younger Koreans don’t? O.o Turnes out, Ma이사님 wants me to guide and help the Bangladeshi delegates from DPP project, who are scheduled to visit Korea next month. He hands me two sweet potatoes before leaving. Haha I HATE..no LOATH sweet potatoes, but I take it gratefully nonetheless, touched by his kindness ^_^ Onni re onni…kekek janish ami ipad er ms word e likhchhi first time :D tai goborer moto khushi lagchhe. Jaihok…koto kichhu bolbo bolbo kore bola hoy na…tora online hole tokhon mone hoy ei etotuku pichki jinish amar folao kore bolar ki. Abar mone hoy maishar moto kenken korchhi naki…zaihok..first e ki niye boli…amar ajkal ektu low self esteemi too obostha…oi job interview dewar shomoy amar personal statement and resume cheyechhilo. And bisshash kor amar KISSU nai shekhane dekhanor moto. Ajporjonto kono extra curricular activities o kori nai…ba result o temon ahamori kichu na…seriously tokhon nijeke prithibir shera gobor mone hoyechhe….kibhabe life waste korchhi…ei obostha thakle graduation er por ki asholeo kono real job khuje pamoo! And me also feels stuck in my social life. Suwon is like a prison -_- ekhane foreigner der jonno temon activities /club nai….ekta matro achhe but I don’t like it. Ekhane jehetu korar o kichhu nai so all they do is drink. And I don’t wanna make friends like that :| ekhane bola jae amar shob cheye close friend “O”. That’s not by choice though, its bcoz I have no other option. And its my fault cuz ami jokhon first suwon move kori oi haramjada ashraf niye depressed thaktam…sharakkhoni room e..eka beshi ber hotam na and I didn’t make that many friends -__- god now I regret it so much. O is not a horrible person or anything…and I dunno shey intentionally eta kore kina…but she is ALWAYS overshadowing me (I cant believe how pathetic I sound right now keke). Its always about her…everything must revolve around her…people mistake her for being a european and she enjoys the attention. And or shathe thakle always mone hoy I’m like a sidekick or something. Again, its not entirely her fault. People find europeans more exotic here than a simple asian..even though O is not really european. But its exhausting to be with her..O mone kore ALL the guys loooove her and stare at her-_- well she dresses pretty provocatively so who wouldn’t! Oufff ekhon mone hochhe ami jealous bitch er moto act korchhi. Maybe I am…I dunno but I truly don’t see whats so special about her. I have far more beautiful and talented girl friends than her who don’t have to wear shorts with their asses hanging out :| Anyway I try not be judgmental most of the time but sometimes her princess disease just gets on my nerves. Sometimes she even lies to koreans that shey korea te ashar age ekdomi korean janto na and ekhane eshe magically efo improve korechhe. That’s soo not true cuz she took korean classes for 2/3 years back in her country. I find a lot of similarities between her and paiga apu….paiga apu is not a bad person but she also has the princess disease…jar karone she had good long lasting friends. And her current friends r very easy going…mane paiga apu ja bole tai mene chole type (according to mu & boggo) Similarly “O” o bhab kore j shey emoni cool j she can only be friends with guyz, she doesn’t get girls blah blah. That’s probably bcoz no girl wants to put up with her princess-ness. And her guy “friends” are not even true friends, just wants to sleep with her. Ive had some good times with O…but now I feel so stuck with her. Amra ekshathe ekta trip e giyechhilam. Okhane seoul theke amar arekta friend o chhilo. And O was sooo antisocial the whole time. And bcoz of her I couldn’t make new friends -_- ami ekjoner shathe kotha barta shuru korar por she also joined. Now when I look back I regret ever even taking her to that trip. If I wanna hang with the friend from that trip, O will be there.Last year ami first chinese friend der shathe eki class e chhilam And became friends. But one of them is from O’s major, so this year they became friends. So now even when I hang out with chinese friends O is there….koydin age I met up with a friend “R” bcoz it was her bday and I wanted to give her bday gift over lunch. O janto j ive been trying to meet with R. Class er por giye dekhi O o okhane. And like an uninvited guest she joined us in the restaurant. Then hotat kore “urrghh…I feel suffocated here” dhong kore chole gelo. Like wth!? U invade our plan and then leave abruptly making a scene! Then recently festival e amra ekshathe chhilam with two other friends. Then jei chheleta amader prder nite eshechhilo he was soooooo cute! And I said it, that time she acted like she didn’t hear it. Then after half an hour or so she said “omggg that guy is soo cute!!” -_____- tokhon theke she started fangirling even though she knew I said it first. Ami jani tuiki bhabchhish, j it all sounds soo childish like something Nayma & I would do in college. But celeb and real life is so different. I just think its so inconsiderate of her to ignore that I could’ve had a crush too. Anyway I tried to let it go, I mean I don’t even know the guy. Festival er por amader friend hotat unir bairer ek restaurant e oi chhele k kaj korte dekhechhe so she told us. So O asked us if we could have dinner at that restaurant this weekend. It was frustrating cuz she was fangirling all the time..and making everything about her. Like ami jodi arek friend k kichhu boli she has to be a part of it, even though shes busy staring at that guy. I mean what does she expect? Hindi movier moto o nayoker dike takiye lojja pane amd amra background dancer er moto pichhe diye komor dulabo? Then festival e arekta ghotona hoyechhilo. She invited one of her friend to hang out with us, and amra almost 2 ghontar moto ekshathe chhilam. The whole time they were like “uhh I’m so bored and tired…maybe we should go home…I have so much homework” blah blah then we decided to go home. I even saw them walking towards their home direction. Then suddenly next day fb te dekhi they went back to festival (!) Not that I was desperate to hang out with them but if they wanted to get rid of me they were such bitches. Every now and then I wonder maybe I’m the one who’s being a bitch, but I never had this of kind of problem with any of my friends before. Then halloween e jokhon club e gelam, shekhane around 2am amader arek friend er friend, got vomitted on (!) LOL so shei friend oi friend er shathe bashae chole jete chachhilo. And I didn’t wanna go with them. Cuz oder bashae shei KHU seoul campus e, I wanted to stay in some coffee shop around the club with O, so that we can take the first bus back to suwon in the morning. But I dunno why on earth O insisted that we go with the other friends. It was ridiculous, like amra thaki suwon e and tara thake seoul e. Why are we following them, and bujhlam oi meye(the one who got vomitted on) r obostha bhalo chhilo na. But oi meye emon na j she was seriously hurt or something, whereas my toe was bleeding inside my heels, I could barely walk. But still she made me go there, made me walk more than I shouldve! I was so angry that night. Another example, when we go to karaoke, she ALWAYS ruins my song. Ami jodi emon kono gan gai that we both know, she has to ruin it! Ami ektu low voice e gai, and O high voice e, often out of tune. So when she sings with me my voice can be barely heard! Tao jodi emon hoto j she’s singing good, tao na, with her off key notes she ruins my notes too! And I get so upset bcoz I just wanted to sing one song peacefully without her interference. I never try to jump in on other people’s songs bcoz I think everyone should get their chance to shine. She knows I loove Singing Ariana Grande songs, but she purposely sings it everytime, and ruins it -__- Jekhanei jai theres always O. I feel like I cant even get new friends or grow on my own because of her. Its not totally her fault, its also my bad fate 😓 Sometimes I feel like running away to seoul asap. Although this moving to seoul has been a huge cliffhanger in my life and Im tired of it too, but I have to make a decision by the end of this year. Either I stay here where Im already settled , near uni, but with limited friends and fun options, or I move to seoul and start over again…be a stranger again…theres no guarantee that my social life will be better than it is now, and Id have to manage time traveling to suwon for some classes, but I can a get a job in seoul easily… :/ Sheidn tor shathe chat korar age I was with O, these days I always end up with her so I guess I was a bit off. Anyway…so what do u think?
Okay~~so zaaa zaaaa bhule giyechhilam video te bolte ekhane likhmoo. TUi
bolechhili treat dewar kotha~dimoo re baba dimoo ebar. Tora koi khete chash/jete chash bolish. Karon ami jani isui zani na! Hahahah and haga k bol tar haga gula bedhe hagar mala banate. Password recover korte bol. Never mind, ami hagar kachh theke emails expect kori na…ami eita rag koreo bolchhi na. Shobar lifei change hoye giyechhe so…ki r korar. Oiooioioi kalke ami almost 3 YEARS por 1st time nail polish diyechhi :D :D amar mone hochhe nijer hate nijei chumu mari! KEKEKEKEKEK Onek bhoye risk niye nial coat diye ek angule try kore dekhechhilam kono allergic reaction hoy kina. But hoy nai :D so ami kalke 2 ta zhaka-naka colour kinlam hoooohooo! O! Kalke toke amar class er jei polar bepare bolechhilam na? Shei polake ajkeo dekhlam~amra eng class badeo music class e ekshathe. But kohono ekshathe boshi nai. Ajkeo boshi nai, or row pula khalihhilo. So ami or 2 seat pore boshechhilam. Dhaet pola j keno nojor karlo! Ekdom porothome just “hm~dekhite to balai lage” bhebechhilam. Erpor kichhui na. But kalke hotat first time shirt TAO ABAR in kore pore eshechhilo -______- playing with my weakness pola! Jaihok~semester er last e eshe crush khawar kono manei hoy na. So me will let this go :P OI tui mamar upor keno rag?? Bol na bol na :( bolbiii na jokhon teaser marish ken? >:( jaihok, ami eibar july 10th-august 10th porjonto thakbo. Tora ki ki korte chash chinta bhabna kore rekhish. Pore abar bolish na ami time dei nai~~~Achha, ebar jai~toodles! HAI HAI POLA RE AMAR JOIBONER DHEU ER GOTIBEG BAIRYE DILO REEE!! KISHER SEMI FEMI BAL KOCHU!
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